GODZILLA X KONG: THE NEW EMPIRE

FILM REVIEW

The first thing that became immediately apparent when Godzilla x Kong started was just how little impact this franchise has made on me to date. 

We are now 10 years and 5 films into the MonsterVerse, yet as old characters were introduced to the screen I had absolutely no recollection of who they were, what they had been through, or to their motivations.

Even with Godzilla and Kong themselves I could barely remember what had happened to them in previous films. 

I remembered that they fought… Although that may be more the do with the film being titles “Godzilla Vs Kong”, but I couldn’t tell you why. 

I remembered that they had found Kong somewhere called Skull Island. But again that was more to do with remembering that the film was called Kong: Skull Island

Absolutely nothing that has happened in any of them - and I’ve seen all of them - has managed to burrow its way into my subconscious. 

And I fear that the same will be true here. As I write this it has been less than 24 hours since the film ended and I am already beginning to forget it. I can’t really remember much of the action in detail and, outside of the two big fellas - and again, their names are in the title - I couldn’t tell you what any of the characters were called.

But let's back up and look at the plot. What plot there is anyway. 

After the events of the previous films which I can’t remember Godzilla and Kong are living in an uneasy harmony. Everything is fine so long as they keep out of each others way.

Godzilla is living on the planets surface, having moved into the colosseum. Something that the Italian authorities are not to pleased about (this isn’t important to the plot, but then again, what is?).

He is nominally acting as humanities saviour, defending the species against unprecedented Titan attacks. 

In reality he is a one-beast demolition crew, levelling cities and murdering thousands as he rampages around the place with wanton disregard for life or historic architecture.

Kong on the other hand is living in Hollow Earth. A previously undiscovered place below the sea where he can roam and live free of threat. Unfortunately Kong is lonely and has a tooth ache so he surfaces causing panic amongst the population (Again, this isn’t hugely relevant to the plot, but then again, what is?).

When something far more dangerous than anything we have seen before begins to threaten the world, Godzilla and Kong must fight it off.

But honestly, considering we have monsters swarming the Earth, unprecedented levels of death and chaos, and only the possibility of worse to come… the destruction of the planet probably wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world at this point.

As you might have guessed from my tone, I didn’t like this one very much.

As mentioned Kong is lonely. And much of the film follows him through Hollow Earth and beyond looking for kinship. He finds this in a character referred to only as Mini-Kong who leads him towards more of his kind.

The problem here is that much of this takes place in purely CGI settings, with purely CGI characters. It is, for large periods, effectively an animated film, which wouldn’t necessarily be an issue if they had done something visually interesting. But they don’t. It just looks… fine. 

Nothing flash or new. Nothing exciting or innovative. Just fine.

When all you really have to offer his massive monsters, placing them in an imaginary CGI world, in which we have no reference for scale, make their enormousness irrelevant. Unless you have them standing next to something that we as humans can relate to, or have a frame of reference for, they no longer look massive.

And in doing that you take away the films one and only selling point. Which is massive monsters. 

Without massive monsters what does it have? No ones staying for the story, the characters are paper thin, and it doesn’t look interesting.

So what does it have? Other than the fact that there are no superhero films at the minute and it’s the only real blockbuster in cinemas this week.

It had the potential for some interesting themes. The comparison between Jia (Kaylee Hottle - who is actually very good in the role, and definitely one of the franchises success stories) struggling to find her place in the world, and Kong feeling similar about the loss of his species could, and perhaps should, have been the focus of the film.

It would have at least seen the film trying to do something different and something interesting. You could have still had the fights and the battles, but shifted the focus of the story slightly towards something more interesting.

Instead though, they just kind of hinted at it. Vaguely gestured towards it before turning its back and running blindly in the other direction.

Another example of a franchise playing it safe. Not wanting to risk exploring deeper themes. 

Godzilla x Kong is bad. Probably the worst that this franchise has had to offer so far. It is as bland a CGI-fest as you are likely to see this year, with one note characters and monotonous action. It is a franchise that, for all the money spent, and all the big name stars it has has featured, has made little cultural impact.

And it’s about time someone took it round back and shot it.