FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S

I think it’s important to get two things out of the way at the start of this review:

Firstly, I am not good with horror. I’m trying to get into it, I’m trying to build up my tolerance to it, but I am still incredibly easily scared. To judge my level, Happy Death Day - a horror film renowned for being fun, but not scary - was almost to much for me on a first viewing.

Secondly, if there’s one thing I find scarier than horror films, it’s horror games. That added level of immersion, of control, ratchets up the dread to a point where I find it difficult to cope. As such I have never played any of the Five Nights at Freddy’s games. I do not know the lore, I do not know the characters.

And I think that this second point is what impacted my enjoyment of the film the most. I am not a fan, and due to this I won’t pick up on any of the easter eggs that the film makers leave. I can only judge it on it’s own merits as a film, and as a film, a lot of it fell flat for me.

Tonally, Five Nights at Freddy’s is all over the place. Seemingly struggling to decide whether it wants to be campy, B-Movie fun, an action, slasher romp, or a more dramatic psychological horror.

And the less said about the brief musical number in the middle, where the film takes a brief sojourn into teen sleepover comedy, where the characters literally stop what they’re doing to build a fort, the better. 

The sudden changes are jarring, and means that on the odd occasion it manages to create some kind of atmosphere, you are pulled almost immediately back out of it.

One thing it never manages to be, despite the many different genre hats it tries to wear, is particularly scary. As I’ve said there were moments where it built up a bit of atmosphere, but that was it. 

There was no gore, no jump scares, no psychological thrills (as much as it tried for some). As I’ve mentioned, I am no good with horror. And if I - a self confessed horror hating Jessie - didn’t find it scary, I can’t imagine anyone else will either.

It’s plot was at least somewhat engaging for a while, as different elements of the mystery were revealed, but the film never seemed brave enough to explore any of them in any detail. And with the twists and turns being easier to spot than a great lumbering, top hat sporting, animatronic bear, it, again, never felt like the film was aiming it’s ambitions high enough. 

The cast are solid, but a film like this needs more than solid. It needs memorable. As I only have the film, and not the game to go by, I couldn’t help but compare it - unfavourably - to 2021’s Willy’s Wonderland. A film with an incredibly similar premise, elevated by a typically barmy central performance by Nicolas Cage.

Josh Hutcherson and Elizabeth Lail have some chemistry, but unfortunately not enough to make the forced will they/won’t they feel believable. Matthew Lillard has some fun, but isn’t on screen anyway near enough. 

Eight year-old Piper Rubio is probably the stand out of the cast, but is hampered by the screenwriters struggling to write dialogue for a child, portraying her, as they often do, as far older than her years.

And none of them are Nicolas Cage. None of them are anywhere near as inherently watchable as Nicolas Cage.

And, honestly, if you’ve got a film with almost exactly the same premise, but starring Nicolas Cage… go watch that instead. You’ll get some Nicolas Cage out of, it if nothing else.

Five Nights at Freddy’s may offer some fun for fans of the video game, but for anyone else it is a tonal mess, with very little to separate it from other films in the genre. It’s twists and turns are mildly engaging, if a little predictable, but the end result feels like a missed opportunity that won’t live long in anyones memory.